Posts Tagged ‘can’

Abbot and Costello with new style ‘Who’s on First’

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello,
And too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?'might have turned out something like this:

More Shortcuts for MS Word

   Command Name                  Shortcut Keys
   ------------------------------------------------------------------------

   All Caps                      CTRL+SHIFT+A
   Annotation                    ALT+CTRL+M
   App Maximize                  ALT+F10
   App Restore                   ALT+F5
   Apply Heading1                ALT+CTRL+1
   Apply Heading2                ALT+CTRL+2
   Apply Heading3                ALT+CTRL+3
   Apply List Bullet             CTRL+SHIFT+L
   Auto Format                   ALT+CTRL+K
   Auto Text                     F3 or ALT+CTRL+V
   Bold                          CTRL+B or CTRL+SHIFT+B
   Bookmark                      CTRL+SHIFT+F5
   Browse Next                   CTRL+PAGE DOWN
   Browse Previous               CTRL+PAGE UP
   Browse Sel                    ALT+CTRL+HOME
   Cancel                        ESC
   Center Para                   CTRL+E
   Change Case                   SHIFT+F3
   Char Left                     LEFT
   Char Left Extend              SHIFT+LEFT
   Char Right                    RIGHT
   Char Right Extend             SHIFT+RIGHT
   Clear                         DELETE
   Close or Exit                 ALT+F4
   Close Pane                    ALT+SHIFT+C
   Column Break                  CTRL+SHIFT+ENTER
   Column Select                 CTRL+SHIFT+F8
   Copy                          CTRL+C or CTRL+INSERT
   Copy Format                   CTRL+SHIFT+C
   Copy Text                     SHIFT+F2
   Create Auto Text              ALT+F3
   Customize Add Menu            ALT+CTRL+=
   Customize Keyboard            ALT+CTRL+NUM +
   Customize Remove Menu         ALT+CTRL+-
   Cut                           CTRL+X or SHIFT+DELETE
   Date Field                    ALT+SHIFT+D
   Delete Back Word              CTRL+BACKSPACE
   Delete Word                   CTRL+DELETE
   Dictionary                    ALT+SHIFT+F7
   Do Field Click                ALT+SHIFT+F9
   Doc Close                     CTRL+W or CTRL+F4
   Doc Maximize                  CTRL+F10
   Doc Move                      CTRL+F7
   Doc Restore                   CTRL+F5
   Doc Size                      CTRL+F8
   Doc Split                     ALT+CTRL+S
   Double Underline              CTRL+SHIFT+D
   End of Column                 ALT+PAGE DOWN
   End of Column                 ALT+SHIFT+PAGE DOWN
   End of Doc Extend             CTRL+SHIFT+END
   End of Document               CTRL+END
   End of Line                   END
   End of Line Extend            SHIFT+END
   End of Row                    ALT+END
   End of Row                    ALT+SHIFT+END
   End of Window                 ALT+CTRL+PAGE DOWN
   End of Window Extend          ALT+CTRL+SHIFT+PAGE DOWN
   Endnote Now                   ALT+CTRL+D
   Extend Selection              F8
   Field Chars                   CTRL+F9
   Field Codes                   ALT+F9
   Find                          CTRL+F
   Font                          CTRL+D or CTRL+SHIFT+F
   Font Size Select              CTRL+SHIFT+P
   Footnote Now                  ALT+CTRL+F
   Go Back                       SHIFT+F5 or ALT+CTRL+Z
   Go To                         CTRL+G or F5
   Grow Font                     CTRL+SHIFT+.
   Grow Font One Point           CTRL+]
   Hanging Indent                CTRL+T
   Header Footer Link            ALT+SHIFT+R
   Help                          F1
   Hidden                        CTRL+SHIFT+H
   Hyperlink                     CTRL+K
   Indent                        CTRL+M
   Italic                        CTRL+I or CTRL+SHIFT+I
   Justify Para                  CTRL+J
   Left Para                     CTRL+L
   Line Down                     DOWN
   Line Down Extend              SHIFT+DOWN
   Line Up                       UP
   Line Up Extend                SHIFT+UP
   List Num Field                ALT+CTRL+L
   Lock Fields                   CTRL+3 or CTRL+F11
   Macro                         ALT+F8
   Mail Merge Check              ALT+SHIFT+K
   Mail Merge Edit Data Source   ALT+SHIFT+E
   Mail Merge to Doc             ALT+SHIFT+N
   Mail Merge to Printer         ALT+SHIFT+M
   Mark Citation                 ALT+SHIFT+I
   Mark Index Entry              ALT+SHIFT+X
   Mark Table of Contents Entry  ALT+SHIFT+O
   Menu Mode                     F10
   Merge Field                   ALT+SHIFT+F
   Microsoft Script Editor       ALT+SHIFT+F11
   Microsoft System Info         ALT+CTRL+F1
   Move Text                     F2
   New                           CTRL+N
   Next Cell                     TAB
   Next Field                    F11 or ALT+F1
   Next Misspelling              ALT+F7
   Next Object                   ALT+DOWN
   Next Window                   CTRL+F6 or ALT+F6
   Normal                        ALT+CTRL+N
   Normal Style                  CTRL+SHIFT+N or ALT+SHIFT+CLEAR (NUM 5)
   Open                          CTRL+O or CTRL+F12 or ALT+CTRL+F2
   Open or Close Up Para         CTRL+0
   Other Pane                    F6 or SHIFT+F6
   Outline                       ALT+CTRL+O
   Outline Collapse              ALT+SHIFT+- or ALT+SHIFT+NUM -
   Outline Demote                ALT+SHIFT+RIGHT
   Outline Expand                ALT+SHIFT+=
   Outline Expand                ALT+SHIFT+NUM +
   Outline Move Down             ALT+SHIFT+DOWN
   Outline Move Up               ALT+SHIFT+UP
   Outline Promote               ALT+SHIFT+LEFT
   Outline Show First Line       ALT+SHIFT+L
   Overtype                      INSERT
   Page                          ALT+CTRL+P
   Page Break                    CTRL+ENTER
   Page Down                     PAGE DOWN
   Page Down Extend              SHIFT+PAGE DOWN
   Page Field                    ALT+SHIFT+P
   Page Up                       PAGE UP
   Page Up Extend                SHIFT+PAGE UP
   Para Down                     CTRL+DOWN
   Para Down Extend              CTRL+SHIFT+DOWN
   Para Up                       CTRL+UP
   Para Up Extend                CTRL+SHIFT+UP
   Paste                         CTRL+V or SHIFT+INSERT
   Paste Format                  CTRL+SHIFT+V
   Prev Cell                     SHIFT+TAB
   Prev Field                    SHIFT+F11 or ALT+SHIFT+F1
   Prev Object                   ALT+UP
   Prev Window                   CTRL+SHIFT+F6 or ALT+SHIFT+F6
   Print                         CTRL+P or CTRL+SHIFT+F12
   Print Preview                 CTRL+F2 or ALT+CTRL+I
   Proofing                      F7
   Redo                          ALT+SHIFT+BACKSPACE
   Redo or Repeat                CTRL+Y or F4 or ALT+ENTER
   Repeat Find                   SHIFT+F4 or ALT+CTRL+Y
   Replace                       CTRL+H
   Reset Char                    CTRL+SPACE or CTRL+SHIFT+Z
   Reset Para                    CTRL+Q
   Revision Marks Toggle         CTRL+SHIFT+E
   Right Para                    CTRL+R
   Save                          CTRL+S or SHIFT+F12 or ALT+SHIFT+F2
   Save As                       F12
   Select All                    CTRL+A or CTRL+CLEAR (NUM 5) or CTRL+NUM 5
   Select Table                  ALT+CLEAR (NUM 5)
   Show All                      CTRL+SHIFT+8
   Show All Headings             ALT+SHIFT+A
   Show Heading1                 ALT+SHIFT+1
   Show Heading2                 ALT+SHIFT+2
   Show Heading3                 ALT+SHIFT+3
   Show Heading4                 ALT+SHIFT+4
   Show Heading5                 ALT+SHIFT+5
   Show Heading6                 ALT+SHIFT+6
   Show Heading7                 ALT+SHIFT+7
   Show Heading8                 ALT+SHIFT+8
   Show Heading9                 ALT+SHIFT+9
   Shrink Font                   CTRL+SHIFT+,
   Shrink Font One Point         CTRL+[
   Small Caps                    CTRL+SHIFT+K
   Space Para1                   CTRL+1
   Space Para15                  CTRL+5
   Space Para2                   CTRL+2
   Spike                         CTRL+SHIFT+F3 or CTRL+F3
   Start of Column               ALT+PAGE UP
   Start of Column               ALT+SHIFT+PAGE UP
   Start of Doc Extend           CTRL+SHIFT+HOME
   Start of Document             CTRL+HOME
   Start of Line                 HOME
   Start of Line Extend          SHIFT+HOME
   Start of Row                  ALT+HOME
   Start of Row                  ALT+SHIFT+HOME
   Start of Window               ALT+CTRL+PAGE UP
   Start of Window Extend        ALT+CTRL+SHIFT+PAGE UP
   Style                         CTRL+SHIFT+S
   Subscript                     CTRL+=
   Superscript                   CTRL+SHIFT+=
   Symbol Font                   CTRL+SHIFT+Q
   Thesaurus                     SHIFT+F7
   Time Field                    ALT+SHIFT+T
   Toggle Field Display          SHIFT+F9
   Toggle Master Subdocs         CTRL+\
   Tool                          SHIFT+F1
   Un Hang                       CTRL+SHIFT+T
   Un Indent                     CTRL+SHIFT+M
   Underline                     CTRL+U or CTRL+SHIFT+U
   Undo                          CTRL+Z or ALT+BACKSPACE
   Unlink Fields                 CTRL+6 or CTRL+SHIFT+F9
   Unlock Fields                 CTRL+4 or CTRL+SHIFT+F11
   Update Auto Format            ALT+CTRL+U
   Update Fields                 F9 or ALT+SHIFT+U
   Update Source                 CTRL+SHIFT+F7
   VBCode                        ALT+F11
   Web Go Back                   ALT+LEFT
   Web Go Forward                ALT+RIGHT
   Word Left                     CTRL+LEFT
   Word Left Extend              CTRL+SHIFT+LEFT
   Word Right                    CTRL+RIGHT
   Word Right Extend             CTRL+SHIFT+RIGHT
   Word Underline                CTRL+SHIFT+W

Instructions from the I.T. Department

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children’s art.
2. Don’t ever write anything down, especially the error message that was on your screen.
3. If we ask what the last thing you did was, always respond with, “I didn’t do anything.”
4. When we say we’ll be right over, immediately find a reason to leave so you won’t have to answer silly questions from us, like “what’s your screen saver password?”
6. When describing your problem, just tell us what you were ultimately trying to do. For example, just say, “I can’t get my email”. We don’t need to know that the computer won’t even turn on.
7. Feel free to ignore any email sent from us, especially those marked with high importance. You don’t really need to know about the latest virus that wiped out your neighbors hard drive.
8. Always send important and urgent emails in all uppercase.
9. When the copier, or anything else remotely electronic, doesn’t work, call us. Heck, if we can fix computers, we must know all about copiers too.
10. If the document you sent to the printer didn’t print, send it at least 20 more times. One of them is bound to work.
11. Don’t ever learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by “my thingy blew up”.
12. Don’t waste your time using the built in help files. We already had to learn the hard way, why should you?
13. If any of the computer cables are in your way or keep moving, be sure to route them across the top of your portable heater or set something big and heavy on them to hold them in place.
14. Never bother reading any message that pops up on your screen. Just click the X to close it or the first button your mouse gets to.
15. Don’t ever try rebooting the computer yourself. Call us immediately. Only experienced, highly-trained professionals should attempt that.
16. Feel perfectly free to say things like “I don’t know anything about this computer crap”. We love hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.
17. When you receive a huge movie file that’s really funny, be sure to forward it to all your friends. We have plenty of disk space and bandwidth.
18. Don’t bother bringing a radio to work, just listen to music over the internet. Like I said, we have plenty of bandwidth.
19. Don’t even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller chunks. Somebody else might squeeze their one-page document into the queue.
20. When an I.T. person is carrying heavy equipment, worth thousands of dollars, that’s the best time to ask why your screen saver quit working.
21. Don’t bother to tell us when you move computer equipment around on your own. We certainly don’t need to keep track of those things.
22. Your computer case makes a great flat surface for sitting drinks or potted plants on.
23. Do whatever you can to cover up those ugly open air slots in the computer and monitor.

Clampi Virus targets online banking

In the modern world, most people never see their bank (with the exception of ATM withdrawals).  We use bill pay, direct deposit and bank debit cards.  This is the exact behavior that the Clampi virus is living on.

Must Have Application for Thumb Drives

It’s a sign of the time, you can buy a thumb drive almost anywhere.  I have even seen them in Gas Stations in the Omaha area.

The System Administrator from Hell

Some days I get emails that just have to be shared.  This is one of them.  All credit to the original author, though I don’t know who it is.

What’s old is new again

Yesterday, Microsoft put out an advisory to a security vulnerability specific to the Windows Vista, Windows Server 2008 SP2, and Windows 7 RC operating systems.  No other Windows operating systems, including Windows 7 RTM are impacted.

Forget Park Place, I want to buy the Red Square

In case you have not hear about it, Monopoly is going global.  According to Daily Mail UK, Google has been in contact with Hasbro to make a new Monopoly game that utilizes Google Maps.

Things Learned from the Internet

• You want it, you can find it online.
• If you don't want it, you can also find it online.
• It might take a while.
• Sometimes the hunt is half the fun.
• Everyone has a website. Grandfathers, mothers and babies. Everyone.
• At some point, Google became a verb.
• The difference between web surfing with Firefox and IE is the difference between body armor and a trendy cotton vest.
• If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
• The Internet is the geeks playground. Here, we rule.
• Not that you would ever need to know the dietary habits of the South American anteater, but it's comforting to know you could find it online if you did.
• When in doubt, Wikipedia.
• Anyone who uses the term 'Interweb' has never been online.
• Explaining the Internet to someone who's never been online, is like explaining the Magna Carta to your cat.
• Almost everything of substance can be summed up with a “DUDE! Check this out!' and a hyperlink.
• Be safe. Be cynical.
• Some else already said it first. But that doesn't mean it won't be said again, and again...
• The Internet IS redundancy.
• There is no such thing as 'sufficient bandwidth'.
• There's always something new.
• You can never go back once you've tried it.

Free Online Games

Orisinal - Gorgeous Flash animation, perfect for kids

Flip 3D your Firefox Tabs

Looking at all the evidence presented to me, Firefox is making major strides in browser preference among web surfers.  I know it is my browser of choice.

I Love this utility

One of my favorite websites to look at daily (ok many times a day) is Life Hacker.  Today as I was going through some of their archived postings I found this.

When is an antivirus really a virus?

Today I recei­ved a call from one of my exter­nal users that was una­ble to access any web­si­tes because some new anti­vi­rus was saying he was unpro­tec­ted and every web­site had mali­cious code.

Since I know that we have McA­fee 8.5 deplo­yed to our users, I knew that this was not a McA­fee issue.  As we dis­cus­sed it a little further he was men­tio­ning that the Anti­vi­rus wan­ted him to purchase the software.

This isn’t the first I have heard of this.  There is a soft­ware com­pany Inno­va­gest 2000 that is pro­du­cing this soft­ware.  They adver­tise it as an antispy­ware appli­ca­tion, but it is the spy­ware.  On some less then savory web­si­tes you will get a pop up that says that your com­pu­ter maybe infec­ted and they offer a free scan.

The fear of being infec­ted moti­va­tes a lot of peo­ple to run this free scan.  Unk­nown to them this appli­ca­tion ins­talls under­neath and now you are stuck.  On that note, I do recom­mend only doing the online scans from repu­ta­ble sites.  I per­so­nally recom­mend the follo­wing: Syman­tec, Panda, and McA­fee.

This appli­ca­tion is extre­mely hard to get rid of.  It rere­gis­ters and ins­talls if it is not com­ple­tely unins­ta­lled correctly.

I hate pro­grams like this.  But it is a fact of life out there.  The modern day snake-oil salesman.

While the pro­gram is run­ning you will see the follo­wing unde­si­ra­ble behavior:

• A “Win­dows Secu­rity Cen­ter” sta­ting that you should purchase Per­so­nal Antivirus.
• Nume­rous alerts sta­ting that your com­pu­ter is under attack or that you have mal­ware run­ning on your com­pu­ter. If you click on these alerts, Per­so­nal Anti­vi­rus will be ins­ta­lled, or you will be brought to the purchase page for the program.
• Your Inter­net Explo­rer brow­ser will be hijac­ked to show secu­rity war­nings when brow­sing the web that stop you from reaching your desi­red page.

As I men­tio­ned before this bug­ger is very hard to get rid off.  But not impos­si­ble.  I found these ins­truc­tions at BleepingComputer.com.

Read more…

New Computer Security Mistakes

I wanted to pass on what I see as some of the top computer security mistakes that most casual computers users make when first setting up a new computer:

Online Backup

A few days ago, I discussed a backup tool named Cobian and I promised to look into online space for offsite storage.

Safely type email on your iPhone

I do not personally own an iPhone, but I do keep my eye out on some of the interesting applications from time to time, and this is one that I would love to see on my beloved blackberry.  Email n’ Walk.